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Face Pixelation Cream

Face Pixelation Cream

Are you sick of navigating our increasingly data-centric surveillance state world, knowing your uniquely identifying face is nearly always public-facing and open to attack? Your facial expressions, much like your browser history, reveal a great deal about you, and even a single misclick can cause untold damage to your reputation and operational security.


Wave goodbye to the problems that come with being visually distuinguishable with our new Face Pixelation Cream!


A high quality solution that gently transforms your skin into pixels, leaving you feeling smooth, nourished, and completely anonymous. 86% agreed that their face felt "blurry and unrecognisable" within 2 hours.


  • Only cowards cover their webcam; send would-be attackers a strong and terrifying message by showing them your big pixelated smile


  • Makes video editors' jobs much easier should you be filmed without your permissions during a seedy tabloid scoop in the public domain


  • The real life equivalent of Tor, you can browse any physical shop you like without fear of being tracked


  • Ditch your uncomfortable hacking balaclava and switch to our plant-based anonymity solution


WARNING: For facial use only. Do not attempt to pixelate any other part of your body. If product comes into contact with eyes, you have a 15 minute window to seek medical advice before the photoreceptors in your sensory membrane begin sending injected pixels to your brain via the optic nerve. If this occurs, you may experience dizziness, moderate to severe amnesia, or a condition known as "dead neurons" caused by liquid crystals leaking through your mind.


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