Criminal Record Enhancement Pills

Does your criminal record fall flat during background checks and immigration control? Can't impress your friends with your boringly unsuspicious past? Look no further than our patented, lab-tested enhancement pills, designed to boost your previously committed criminal activity for those particularly tricky situations.
 
Standard dosage adds several counts of computer misuse to your official records
 
Works in any jurisdiction
 
Ensures a longer, harder, maintained criminal record for up to 6 hours of performance when you need it most
 
Perfect for when you want to be quizzed at length during a job interview or when traveling
 
Side effects may include an investigation from INTERPOL, persistent surveillance, and being arbitrarily thrown out of buildings. Not to be taken before applying for a credit card.
 
WARNING: overdosing on Criminal Record Enhancement Pills has been known to result in a sudden predator drone strike on the user. Always read the label.